SMOKEHOUSE 21’s UN-BEER: ANTHEM HARD CIDER

Long ago, an apple a day didn’t really keep the doctor away. But a Hard Apple Cider did.

Because the bacteria found in colonial waters had a penchant for killing us, we brewed hard ciders from the many, many apples harvested fro this young country’s many, many orchards.

Peasants drank them, as did presidents. We even reared our kids on the stuff.

But then our water got better. And so did our beer. And our wine. And before long, our love of ciders was on the outs.

Until now, that is. Because ciders are back, and they’re back strong.

Lately, some of you have been asking for it, especially those of you with gluten allergies. We listened. And despite our commitment to canned craft beer, we’re giving your what you want: bottles of Wandering Aengus Ciderworks‘ tart and dry Anthem Hard Apple Cider, fermented to an ABV of 6 percent with the apples harvested from the cidery’s Salem orchard.

So if you’re a cider lover, ask as to pop a cap on one (or two) and properly pair it (or them) with either our Pulled Pork or our Smoked Half Chicken plate. And if you really want the most out of your cider, pair either of those meats with our creamy, but not-too, Cole Slaw and our Fingerling Potato Salad, with all its mustard seeds and shallots and cornichons and smoked bacon.

Your mouth belly will thank you, but your mouth’ll thank you more.

SMOKEHOUSE 21’s UN-BEER BEER: O-MISSION

We make meat that most of you want to eat. Those who don’t, we gave you Smoked Portobello Mushroom Sandwiches. And Wedge Salads. And, of course, beer because there’s no meat in beer. Although that does sound good.

And while some of you can eat meat till your seams burst, your allergy to gluten has prevented an increasing number of you from pairing all that pig with a cold one.

Until now.

You want gluten-free beer? You’ve got it, because now we’re pairing the meat you love with the suds you crave: introducing to our menu Widmer Brothers’ O-Mission Pale Ale.

Now, t’s impossible to cure a beer of all its gluten, kinda like it’s impossible to cure coffee of all its caffeine, but through a super secret trade practice, the Widmer Brothers have brewed a 6 percent ABV pale ale, and then sucked out of it nearly all the gluten.

That means your belly is in good hands. And will, soon, be full of both meat and beer.

SMOKEHOUSE 21’s CHOPPED SALAD

Well, the good news for salad-eaters is that our menu now features another salad!

Of course, the bad new for some of those salad-eaters is that our Chopped Salad is also made of meat. Two kinds, actually: chicken aaaaaaaaaaaand bacon. But you probably could’ve guessed that.

Still, it’s not a lot of meat. Rather, it’s mostly tossed with our sherry vinaigrette and swirled into a twisty mountain of baby arugula, radicchio and bleu cheese crumbles.

It’s fresh and, even with that bacon, it’s light. And it’s perfect size to either share with your date before the “main event” arrives, or to covet and hog all to yourself for a light lunch.

Of course, if chicken and pig ain’t your thing, we’ll chop you one up sans.

SMOKEHOUSE 21’S CANNED BEER: DALE’S PALE ALE

The founding fathers didn’t invent Democracy and they didn’t invent beer.

But they knew one thing to be true: Nothing pairs with Democracy quite like a cold one.

Well, like the founding fathers, the crew that brews at Oscar Blues didn’t invent craft beer, nor did they invent aluminum cans.

But they, too, knew one thing to be true: Nothing puts a beer in your hand quite the way a can does.

Cans are easy to transport into and out of our National Parks. Cans are easy to recycle. But most importantly, cans were made for sticky hands. Sticky with barbecue, that is.

So swing by and ask beer that started the American Craft Canned Brew Revolution: Dale’s Pale Ale.

It’s got a 6.5 percent ABV, it’s got 65 IBUs, and it comes in a can that’s red, white and blue.

SMOKEHOUSE 21 SANDOS: THE SOUTHERN BACHELOR

There’s simply no way to make this look pretty. Nor is there a way to make it sound pretty.

But that’s neither here, nor there, because this thing eats pretty.

This “thing” is our Southern Bachelor Special, and the Southern Bachelor is house-smoked Pulled Pork, 3-Cheese Macaroni sando, garnished with a handful of Frito Corn Chips.

Think of it as an ungodly concoction made by God, himslef.

At four in the morning.

When he was drunk.

On beer.

Bad beer.

In other words, Heavenly.

But we got one thing that god don’t: Sides. And every Southern Bachelor comes with one. For just $12.

It may not cure you’re hangover, but it’ll certainly shorten it, because you’re gonna need a lotta Zs to sleep this thing off.

SMOKEHOUSE 21’s CANNED BEERS: THE SILVER BULLET

It will slow you down, you know.

One can of it might not, but if you start driving two cans north of the Silver Bullet, it will slow you down.

Describing how one tastes is a pointless exercise. You’re not drinking a can of Coors Light because of the way it tastes. You know it. We know it. Hell, even Coors knows it.

But that hasn’t knocked Coors Light from its throne as one of one of America’s favorite beers.

Brewed in the mountains of Colorado, it’s crisp and clean, and with an ABV of just 4.2 precent, which makes it easy to drink.

And that’s why you’re drinking one: because it’s easy to drink.

So order up some smoked meat, order a can of the Silver Bullet and toast last summer’s river rafting trips, and the camping trips from the summer before and, of course, toast your dad, because there’s a 33.3 percent chance that a can of Coors is his go-to beer.

SUPER BOWLING WITH SMOKEHOUSE 21

Okay sports fans. Wanna impress your hosts this Super Bowl Sunday?

Then skip the chips, skip the dips and opt instead for some sticky, sweet and smokey meat you can eat with your hands.

That’s right. We’ll be open all day on Super Bowl Sunday, giving you the chance to impress your friends by showing up during the pre-game with a platter of smoked meats that can be ordered either with sides or á la carte.

*****

Looking for a quiet place to have a filling meal this Sunday because football’s not your thing?

Well, that’s us. As you already know, we have no TVs, so, no game. Just smoked meat, yummy sides, canned beer and bluesy music.

*****

And don’t forget. We deliver, too. Actually, we don’t, but Delivered Dish will do it for us!

*****

Smoked Meat, Three Ways: Dine In, Carry Out or Delivery.

SMOKED MEATS: LAMB RIBS!

So yeah, we know. We’re Yankees.

And to a lot of people, Yanks got no right making no barbecue. Shucks, many people’ll tell you that Yanks should steer well clear of post-Reconstruction barbecue, if not barbecue altogether.

But by now, you know us. We’ve won the hearts of Texans and Carolinian lowlanders, alike (and to all you Parisians of the Plains, we’re coming for your hearts next).

You love us for our Brisket, you love us for our Pulled Pork, but do you love us yet for our Smoked Lava Lake Baby Back Lamb Ribs?

If your answer’s, “No,” here’s something that oughtta get your mouth watering:

One full rack of lamb, rendered of fat, rubbed with our super-super secret spices, smoked for three hours, painted sparingly, with our BBQ glaze and served hot, with extra napkins, a Wet Nap and your choice of two sides.

They’re lean, they’re green—meaning the little lambies lived long happy lives on a grass-fed diet at Lava Lake Farms in Idaho’s Wood River Valley—and they’re as mean as any smoked meat on our menu, and possibly even meaner than any smoked meat on any menu.

So if you haven’t yet tried ’em, come on in and dig in and let us stick our ribs to yours.

SMOKEHOUSE 21 BEERS: Hopworks IPA

They might give trophies to every kid these days, but beer drinkers are far more fickle—they’ll only award a trophy when a batch of suds merits one.

So, when the judges at the 2008’s World Beer Cup sent home the brewers at Hopworks Urban Brewery with a gold medal for their Hopworks Organic IPA, you know it was earned.

And no, you no longer have have to lug around a growler or a 22-ounce bottle to get’cher HUB IPA fix, because, as you already know, they’re canning their beers now, too.

Meaning you can take them with you to the river, you can take them with you to the lake, or you can park your seat in one of ours and pound back one of their 16-ounce Imperial “Pounder” Pints, while sucking our sauce from the tips of your fingers [Ed. note: typed it, reread it, recoiled—because it’s gross, innit?—but decided to go with it, because you’re an adult and you know what we mean].

What’re the numbers? Three hops, liberally employed, blanaced out with plenty of maltiness, a 6.6 percent ABV, a formidable 75 IBU ranking and a score of 100 percent on the Certified Organic Scale.

Just keep in mind when you’re knee-deep in barbecue, IPAs (emphasis on the plural) are tongue-numbers, and if you go over two, they’re tongue-twisting, eye-crossing, brain-numbers, too.

So No Shotgunning.

SMOKEHOUSE 21’S SMOKED MEATS, Á LA CARTE

We do smoked meats.

But maybe the meat we smoke and serve to you is be a little too much for your belly.

Well, that’s why we’ve designed an á la carte menu, just for you.

Or maybe you’re brave and want to top off your Combo Plate with a Spare Rib Lollypop dessert.

Well, that’s why we’ve designed an á la carte menu, just for you, too.

So what’s the deal? Well, we’ll slice you up a quarter Smoked Chicken or weigh you out a quarter-pound of Beef Brisket for just $4.

For just $3.50, we’ll portion you out a still very healthy sampling of Pulled Pork.

Our Hot Link Sausages are just $3 a pop, and those Spare Rib Lollys? A mere $2.50 (or the cost of a one-way bus ticket to come park your seat in one of ours).

So if you’re one of those kinda folks who settles your favorites, even though you’re dying to try something new off the menu, well: stop dying.

We’ll garnish your favorite helping smoked meat with even more smoked meat, but not enough to make you go all Mister Creosote on us.

Trust.